Top Clack

by Quakemz

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“My Boyfriend Made Me Write This Poem”

My boyfriend made me write this poem
About keyboards and keycaps
and switches and then some.
I have no clue but instead of being a bitch
I sat there and shut up
like an MX silent switch.

My boyfriend stares blankly
When he says he loves me,
But he lights up like Christmas
At the sight of an HHKB.

He finds arrow keys and symbols
Faster on his blanks
Than he can find the time to send
A text or to chat.

He can name all the Korean customs,
Orion, Octagon and Viper
But when I ask him to call me
He acts like a lifer.

I feel like his rubberdomes,
Abandoned and ignored.
But then I saw his artisans
And I was completely floored.

The Kosmos, the Brobot,
The Keywock, oh wow!
They all got me to liking
Mech keyboards somehow.

So now I don’t really mind…
My boyfriend’s an ass, it’s true.
But I’ll forgive and forget
If he’ll give me his Fugu.
— /u/arninja21
Rubbre Domeh
’Get off your high horse!’
quip owners of a Realforce
’Give it more time’
FC660C fans chime

’It simply cannot be’
they defend their HHKB
’You are a poor shill for Cherry
and inclined to disagree!’

’Screw GMK, SA, and such’
retort those without a Novatouch
’MX sliders is a no-no
but we have our own Hi-Pro’

But glancing at the bill for their Type Heaven
They fall into a crippling depression
’I’ve already liquidated my home!
I must have an extra chromosome!’

— cuz Topre is just a rubber dome

Of course, enlightenment did not come too late
Fish on /r/mechmarket will take the rubbre domeh bait
— /u/Darakath
Linears are red,
clickies are blue,
but I love tactiles,
no matter which hue.

Topre’s a meme,
if I want rubber,
I can get it much cheaper,
and don’t have to suffer.

The next groupbuy awaits,
my wallet’s still empty,
I have to eat ramen,
but keebs have I plenty.

Made of aluminum,
acrylic and wood,
and in bigger numbers,
than my wife thinks is good.

With colorful caps
costing way too much money,
for just a bit of plastic,
that it’s not even funny.

Each key can do anything,
you just need your layers.
If you know QMK it’s easy,
if not, say your prayers.

In the end it’s worth it,
I say eating pancakes with syrup,
in the middle of the night,
watching Top Clack from Europe.
— /u/manzel0
The comforts of a Thursday evening,
A singularly delightful hour
When all the nerds are wisely entranced
To hear the news of keyboards and buys

Let’s settle in and warm up the iron
No better time to solder a board
The smell is ripe with spray-paint or lead
I victimize my latest design

A guest who brings some knowledge to share
Teases a juicy interest check
I turn to read the wisdom of chat
”Me weeb me spam mods baka if ban”
— bb.feets
“I have a crippling addition to keyboards, no seriously I need help”

Brian and Huey are the main hosts of top clack
sometimes they treat capsets just like crack
They like hhkbs
But not LEDs
NEW CHARACTER UNLOCKED; Oh, it’s Bektour
— /u/jetpacktuxedo
“TOP CLICK”

As I entered the coffee shop
I saw her
alone
silently typing invisible words
her fingers
moving so gently
so confidently
caressing each key
like a mother cares for her child
like a poet cares for his words

I sat down with my coffee
not far from her
alone
silently drinking, quietly thinking
about her fingers
their movement across this
strange keyboard
I had never seen anything like it
I had never seen anything like her

I finished my coffee
And looked at her
And she looked at me
”Nice keyboard,” my mouth said
”Thanks,” she said, “do you want to feel it?”
”Sure,” my mouth said
and then my body moved next to her
and then I placed my hands on her
keyboard
and slowly started typing

And I looked at her again
And she looked at me again
And we clicked
— Vortex Surfer

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