by Quakemz and Jae
“My Boyfriend Made Me Write This Poem”My boyfriend made me write this poemAbout keyboards and keycapsand switches and then some.I have no clue but instead of being a bitchI sat there and shut up like an MX silent switch.My boyfriend stares blanklyWhen he says he loves me,But he lights up like ChristmasAt the sight of an HHKB.He finds arrow keys and symbolsFaster on his blanksThan he can find the time to sendA text or to chat.He can name all the Korean customs,Orion, Octagon and ViperBut when I ask him to call meHe acts like a lifer.I feel like his rubberdomes,Abandoned and ignored.But then I saw his artisansAnd I was completely floored.The Kosmos, the Brobot,The Keywock, oh wow!They all got me to likingMech keyboards somehow.So now I don’t really mind…My boyfriend’s an ass, it’s true.But I’ll forgive and forgetIf he’ll give me his Fugu.
Rubbre Domeh’Get off your high horse!’quip owners of a Realforce’Give it more time’FC660C fans chime’It simply cannot be’they defend their HHKB’You are a poor shill for Cherryand inclined to disagree!’’Screw GMK, SA, and such’retort those without a Novatouch’MX sliders is a no-nobut we have our own Hi-Pro’But glancing at the bill for their Type HeavenThey fall into a crippling depression’I’ve already liquidated my home!I must have an extra chromosome!’ — cuz Topre is just a rubber dome Of course, enlightenment did not come too lateFish on /r/mechmarket will take the rubbre domeh bait
Linears are red,clickies are blue,but I love tactiles,no matter which hue.Topre’s a meme,if I want rubber,I can get it much cheaper,and don’t have to suffer.The next groupbuy awaits,my wallet’s still empty,I have to eat ramen,but keebs have I plenty.Made of aluminum,acrylic and wood,and in bigger numbers,than my wife thinks is good.With colorful capscosting way too much money,for just a bit of plastic,that it’s not even funny.Each key can do anything,you just need your layers.If you know QMK it’s easy,if not, say your prayers.In the end it’s worth it,I say eating pancakes with syrup,in the middle of the night,watching Top Clack from Europe.
The comforts of a Thursday evening,A singularly delightful hourWhen all the nerds are wisely entrancedTo hear the news of keyboards and buysLet’s settle in and warm up the ironNo better time to solder a boardThe smell is ripe with spray-paint or leadI victimize my latest designA guest who brings some knowledge to shareTeases a juicy interest checkI turn to read the wisdom of chat”Me weeb me spam mods baka if ban”
“I have a crippling addition to keyboards, no seriously I need help”Brian and Huey are the main hosts of top clacksometimes they treat capsets just like crackThey like hhkbsBut not LEDsNEW CHARACTER UNLOCKED; Oh, it’s Bektour
“TOP CLICK”As I entered the coffee shopI saw heralonesilently typing invisible wordsher fingersmoving so gentlyso confidentlycaressing each keylike a mother cares for her childlike a poet cares for his wordsI sat down with my coffeenot far from heralonesilently drinking, quietly thinkingabout her fingerstheir movement across thisstrange keyboardI had never seen anything like itI had never seen anything like herI finished my coffeeAnd looked at herAnd she looked at me”Nice keyboard,” my mouth said”Thanks,” she said, “do you want to feel it?””Sure,” my mouth saidand then my body moved next to herand then I placed my hands on herkeyboardand slowly started typingAnd I looked at her againAnd she looked at me againAnd we clicked